The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions

Inspired by the Tuesday Meme Heads or Tails and the prompt: Flower
and Slice of Life Sunday



"While the State exists there can be no freedom; when there is freedom there will be no State."

The creepingly insidious power of the State is something that's been irritating me for a while now, but over the past few days it's become something far more serious; it's become something that scares me. Maybe it's because the decisions that I make for myself are nearly always different from the decisions that others would encourage me to make or would make for me; but, I have always had a fear of losing control of my own destiny. I can think of nothing worse than anyone, let alone the State, taking control of the decisions in my life even if done with the best of intentions. Every wrong decision I have ever made in my life has been a decision that has gone against my instincts and followed so called expert or professional advice. I cannot think of a single wrong decision that I've made when I've followed my instinct against professional advice.

"Remember that a government big enough to give you everything you want is also big enough to take away everything you have."

Our current government came to power with a new image backed up with its slogan, "New Labour, New Britain," and its slick new logo the thornless red rose, symbolic of socialism, love, caring, and warmth. But, we should have been more wary and not viewed everything through rose tinted glasses. We should have remembered that red is also the colour of the Devil, of arrogance and power. It's demanding, aggressive and defiant. The rose nearly always has thorns, and grows its branches to form an impenetrable barrier using the thorns to ensure its safety.

Under this government, the state has encroached into our everyday lives, all with honourable intentions and in our best interests. But, the ultimate effect has been to increase the power of the state, and remove any kind of personal responsibility. The government delights in taking over for our own good, whether we want them to or not, little realising the full effects of its actions. The Health Service Masters welcome their initiatives with open arms seeking opportunity to expand their control further and strongly resisting any attempt to stop the run away train, never mind reverse it.

Eric's Aunt is dying. Quite how close to death she is, nobody seems able or prepared to say. A week ago she started to decline rapidly and became virtually bed bound. Until last Friday we managed fine caring for her at home, but then she complained that during the night she'd knocked her hip on the bedside table and was in unbearable pain. The GP was really reluctant to do anything, convinced that it was only referred pain from her cancer, that she could control. Indeed, by the time she arrived the pain was already subsiding as I'd sought her permission to top up the morphine. But since there had also been a dramatic decline in her general well being since the previous evening she felt that she had no alternative but to have the hip xrayed in case of fracture. She explained to me that this would almost inevitably incur a hospital admission over the weekend regardless of the result and that she had arranged a hospice place for the Monday. She stressed to me over and over, to keep reminding the hospital that the hospice place was arranged.

In the event, Auntie Vera hadn't broken her hip, it was referred pain and anxiety. On the Saturday the change in her was as dramatic as the change the previous night but now she was locked into the system and you try getting someone out of it. She went into hospital never having suffered the humiliation of wetting herself or the bed, something that was of absolute importance to her; the hospital system is too slow to accommodate her urinary urgency and so she was given incontinence sheets and her calls for the bed pan or commode ignored until too late. This distressed her greatly. At home her pain was controlled because both me and the GP understood the nature of her pain and asked the right questions. The hospital would ask her if she was in pain and would be told no, because at that precise moment she wasn't. Consequently, she would not be given a top up and hence at moments when Auntie came to do the things that trigger the pain, she was in agony, but nursing staff were never around to witness it and Auntie never told them. Auntie Vera went into hospital eating small quantities and drinking, in hospital they accepted her screwing up her nose and refusing food and forgot to give her drinks let alone encourage her to drink them. She needs to sit up whilst sleeping due to Menieres Disease, something which I ensured was put on her notes on admittance, but we constantly found her with the top of the bed lowered, pillows removed and her lying flat and then the Nurses would wonder why she was complaining of feeling sick and feeling dizzy. They administered drugs that had already been tried and caused unpleasant side effects despite me warning them of the fact. Auntie queried with them whether they had tried these drugs as she had began to experience the side effects again, they refused to answer her. It took a message from the GP after I informed her of what was going on to get them stopped. Her sister visited her on Sunday and was shocked at how she was being treated, her sister's husband was a Hospital Administrator and she is well aware of what is acceptable in hospitals and what isn't. There have been one or two exceptional individuals whose efforts I cannot praise highly enough, but on the whole the standards of care are sadly lacking and some of the comments made to us, have been completely unacceptable.

Eric and I got through the weekend by reassuring ourselves that she would be transferred to the hospice on Monday, but this just did not happen and Auntie Vera is stuck in a system that refuses to discharge her despite being unable to offer her any treatment. Why can she not be discharged, even though she would be better cared for at home? Because she lives on her own and hasn't had a care assessment and the NHS say that carers will have to be allocated. But, wait, haven't we as a family been doing just that over the past weeks and months? Yes, but it might exhaust me and they can't be certain that she would be safe, even though they know we can organise 24 hour care. We were even told that they thought a care home would be a more appropriate placement for her, something which they never discussed with Auntie Vera and which they were quickly informed was a red line we weren't crossing at this point. So now Auntie Vera has to wait for an official care assessment, accept outside carers to administer to her needs or not go home. Has she asked for any of this? No. Are there any signs that she was not properly looked after at home? No. Will she be any safer, more comfortable, or better looked after? Probably not. Will it help me? No, Auntie Vera is still insisting that I am with her to protect her and her stay in hospital is far harder for me than caring for her at home. But, perhaps more importantly, we are being denied our desire to help her, our role in her life is being neutered. She adores my Step-son but he won't visit her in hospital or go and sit and just talk to her when she returns home, he has his own problems with depression, he has to have a purpose to visit. I used to get him to do her shopping, now someone else will be allocated to do it, so he won't be seen for dust. The system is robbing him of his purpose and her of her visit. In fact, in their desire to help, they are robbing our whole family of its purpose and its need to visit her and have involvement in her life; she is after all not anyone's mother, she is just my husband's Aunt and the extent of our involvement in her life has been based upon her need of us; take that away and why would we need to go and visit her everyday. We would like some help so we can have some time off and someone to help with bathing and so that if I'm ill there is some help in place that can be called upon, but we are being told that it will be all or nothing. Auntie Vera's days are limited and they are robbing her of her opportunity to live them. They're not able to treat her, her condition is stabilised and now they've listened to my concerns about them not topping up her morphine, her pain is again under control. There is no expected improvement, other than the lack of a care assessment there is no reason to retain her in hospital. Surely this care assessment can be done from home particularly as she hasn't requested it.

Auntie Vera is lucky she has me and Eric to oversee what is going on and put things right, I've seen for myself what happens to the elderly who haven't got someone to oversee what is happening. She has a GP who phones me to ask what is happening and advises me on how to resolve things for her. I have friends who are in a position to establish my credibility with the ward hierarchy and to put my concerns to them without me having to complain. I have the determination to fight what's wrong with the system, compromising just enough not to build barriers. I really do think that it's right that we provide help for those who need it. I really do think it's right that we should have a social care system, but I don't think it should just be foisted on people. I'm sure that everything that's being done is being done with the best of intentions, but the outcome is the exact opposite of what Auntie wants or is in her best interests. Auntie Vera is of the old school she thinks that she has to accept the system without question, when asked what she wants her answer is "not to be a burden." How sad then that the health service seems to think that my caring for her is a burden on me, and has therefore decided to relieve me of that responsibility, even telling her that the care is being put in place for my benefit so that I don't become exhausted, when in fact caring for Auntie was as helpful to me as it was to her.